Juz_mome

Protector

2008-12-08T17:46:00.002+08:00

08 sept 06.

2 Years passed since that day. Memories still flashes.. Do i ever do the right thing of letting you go? Will you visit this blog of yours?

If you happen to. . . Just want to say.. I still love you. .

Protector.

Cindy is a naughty girl...

2006-11-02T01:43:00.000+08:00

Today went manicure and pendicure for the first time.. hehe quite fun.. but tiring hands and legs must keep still cannot move about... but tt place is cosy and relaxing.. hehe.. but the colour din turn out to be my liking... too dark like ghost la... after all it fun.. well tml going perm my hair for one day cuz my birthday is on friday... think i spend a bit too much liao... friday still wan go drink at night.. sat goin clubbing w my gers... my money all gone.. wanted go threading but decided to save my money... haha.. turning 20 soon.. hows my feelings?? well... nothing still as childish as ever... jus hope that i grow abit taller... got a job from the tuition centre and earn lot of money to get my licscene.. and hope i get marry soon and live outside... mould the future of singapore.. im a teacher! haha

20 here i come!

Flared Up... Copyright

2006-10-24T03:04:00.000+08:00

well, jus finish complaining stuffs to ah kai.. haha... like an old aunty grumbling... had a bad day today... well some ppl after doing wrong still act as though they are in the right... oh my god.. i cant tolerate this kind of ppl but anyway nothing to do with me anymore... lessons are boring... C++ still ok so far but guess few more weeks down it wont be that easy..
well... i jus sick and tired.. so pls stop all this... haiz dunno how long it still must continue... tml is a public holiday going out walk around see ppl?? the way they dress, couples, friends... haha...
wed is a no school day for me actually have make up lecture but im already awaiting for Shuqun Pri to call me.. if they called then i would rather go for relief teaching.. is not because of the money perhaps to others iswasy money... but seriously till now i nv find something i enjoy so much... since i go lecture oso will be sleeping away i my as well go and do something i enjoy and like.. anyway maybe they wont call me oso or its like 2 more wks it will be holiday soon.. i wan also dun have le... haha... well i think things shld stop.. i mean its time to wake up and stop, stop indulging in the world tt nv come trues.. and for those who think he's right when he's a totally ungentleman .. i only got one thing to say.. worse guy i ever encounter, with or without ur prescene make no difference in my life.. (wo bo kiam eng ni) in hokkien.. and i cant be bothered with such ppl... i seldom hate ppl or shld i say i seldom have anti feelings towards guys.. but once i got onto you then too bad.. means you are terrible.. and i cant be bothered to even look at you for a second or talk to you for a word... thats me.. guess that somebody will nv know i talking about him cuz he always think he always right and he owes nothing to the world but the world owes him everything...

The thing that im worried about most

2006-10-08T13:13:00.000+08:00

The thing that im worried about most had finally happened.. but it had end also.. had been working as a relief teacher for 2 days at Shuqun primary school.. well its a good experience.. first day i shouted and screamed at them until my vocal all gone they are horrible... they jumped they climbed hide in the cupboard and played with water and choked the whole basin.... it was hell... i shouted and threatened them with the principal... 2nd day same thing happen but it was better i scolded one boy cuz he was too notti and he make his classmate cry.. horrible kid... and a little boy shit in his pants.. i was like.... i pretend dunno anything and wait for the next teacher to come... haha.. it was fun anyway.. when the class stood all and greeted you good morining and called you teacher... it was jus like my dream come true after 2o years... you will never feel how nice it will be when you got your childhood dream come true even though i was jus a relief teacher... well yest i attened a teaching as a career semina talk.. maybe i really want to enrol in NIE but depends cuz it's a four years course... the journey is long and i must really considered...
Jus hope tml the school will call me again.. hehehehe...

Sucking Life...

2006-09-17T01:39:00.000+08:00

this morning went see doc w my mum, the worse thing that i have been worrying for has finally arrive.. i can sense the road in front of me is not smooth.. hope everything is fine for me and things stay on like this.. hope my wishes in HK come true...
hope i got a real job soon....

byebye

Back

2006-09-15T16:22:00.000+08:00

Juz came back fr HK.. nothing to talk about.. hmm.. enjoy?? not really... the food there cant make it.. the ppl there only talk cantonese cant understand... and worse my cousins haiz... give problems.. expected... this one cannot that one cannot... rush rush rush... but the buddha statue is the most nicest.. its so tall and big.. and located at the top of a mountain i even saw HK stars there acting.. "Li Zhi" the bio essence the girl now on tv and thr yummy king the chicken king... haha... then i took the wisdom path.. wow inside is nice la... got sutra craved on plank of wood.. opposite is mountain... haha... well back went to visit a temple where alot of ppl say is very "ling".. hope so it will grant my wishes.. the rest ok.. wasted i din manage to go Ocean Park cuz im the only person keen to go.. and the Wax museum... wow lau also im the only person keen to go.. becuz of that Pei Yong Jun tempted me to go in.. so bloody handsome... buai ta han... but the wax ppl really look like real.. hmm... i still wan to go HK nex time but not w family le.. i wan go w my friends.. then i can go my ocean park nad wax museum... hehe.. but i promise my mother when i grow old and work i will bring her go HK jus the 2 of us.. maybe w my bro and ... well... dunno.. the HK ppl abit unfriendly.. and they do things very fast... one thing also their food all very salty.. *phew* maybe there nv broadcast NKF show... ok shall stop le.. i hav been sleeping for days but still feel tired dunno why... haha.. jus got a haircut... dunno shld like it or dun like it.. but its my darling hairstylist cut for me de.. even he cut botak oso i like it.. haha... he very handsome lor give me alot of discount oso fr $89 to $40.. hehe... yeah tml go yoga le... happy.. can see my another darling... my yoga teacher... wahahaha...

Fall Down Day SHIT

2006-09-04T02:22:00.000+08:00

today went town change the top i had bought for my birthday that i intending to wear.. haha already plan le... hehe... dunno may 20 le so mus plan abit.. haha... hai everytime buy clothes must go 2 times de.. so bad habit.. haha... anyway thats not the pt.. the point is at the lucky plaza tunnel to taka... i missed a step i almost rolled n flew down the steps... haha... lucky he catch hold of me... wow the fuck... i was laughing at myself carelessness right after i cried like hell *shit* it scared the hell out of me... i was crying like some mad woman... haha.. he said is my retribution cuz i always laugh at ppl fall down... even my mama *opps* sorry... haha... but wow kaoz.. haha so scary... sobsob... i scare scare... if nobody hold on to me... i think once again i can be superwoman... wat the... sianz diaoz..
TmL Is COOKING DAY!!!

Sianz

2006-08-20T01:40:00.000+08:00

Long long time nv update le... haiz sianz lah... about everything.. my family.. my studies... super duper bored... cant slp well at night having insomia lately but today confirm wont cuz im very tired... hope i can manage my exams and hav fun after that... well... life suz... i can foresee the path in front of me is not smooth at all... someone help me... god... where are you...

Sad

2006-08-08T23:17:00.000+08:00

Today went bugis alone to buy ingredients for baking cake.. i make my mind to bake a marble cake.. saw jason on the way who is jason he's the caretaker.. he ask how was me n my mum i said ok.. suddenly i thought u had grown up le.. life still carries on no matter what happen to you.. well.. others life carry on.. had filet o fish for lunch and start baking at 3.30.. bake all the way till 6.. wash scrub everything.. almost finish up the detergent.. haha.. the cake was abit burnt but still edible.. then went grandma hse for dinner.. when i reached home i saw the cake i intended to give someone.. invaded by ants.. -___-lll very down.. haiz.. nvm tml shall bake a better and nicer one... gonna slp soon.. sianz.. the cake taste good.. haha... yummy!

Gotta Sleep

2006-08-05T03:51:00.000+08:00

Someone said that my blog is having spider web so i gonna do something about it... that day i happen to know my ex have a blog was kinda surpirse went to look at it.. hmm not bad ... its time i solve my problem... dun wanna online de but got someone in friendster add me so wanna take a look dunno whos that again some tcs carrefia added me he said i viewd him and i looked cute -_-lll i tot he was my friend so i viewed him no other intention... chey... hmm... then heard my class say anthony send some stupid chalet ppt so took a look and is really stupid.. diaoz.. got the pirrates of the carribean music too.. wat the.. too free dun study for exam.. do this type of nonsense.. today was SAD mock test i snatched anthony seat that was beside sharon so i can copy then anthony sat alone... i was feeling guilty cant bear to leave him alone so last minute i change place beside him see i sacrify.. after all i snatch his place and we are mos burger after all how can leave him in the lurch still we manage to copy.. haha we are the copying pros liaoz all lecturers know.. but the stupid koh cc vb teacher today my cms got full marks he say i kay long he fucker i nv copy he jus want to accuse me i jus hope he choke on his rice one day tt day joan ask him who is the one he keep thinking tt was copying i was keeping quiet then he say cindy kept so quiet i was damn flared up i said i really din if u wan to say me then go ahead and if i copy y i fail.. today he say i kay long i oso said ya lah ya lah everything is me copy is me kay long is me fail oso me.. jus hope heaven got eyes this kind of ppl die oso think himself right.. nvm lor let him be.. one fine day sure got something make him guilty then he will reflect on his own.. suai eat till so old liao still dunno how to think.. *get choke* jus hope i wont see him ever again.. one bloody fucker.. and i seriously swear i din copy the first test oh pls if i copy i wont fail and in class i ask alot of qs doesn't mean i stupid.. well.. *get choke* may his hp spoil cuz he got a lousy hp
-_-lll i gonna slp le tml go see doc for almost 2 weeks le my sicknedd not ok.. hmm.. down.. this sem is so fast cant imagine soon i will be sitting in lab doing my FYP.. oh no.. thinking of that im... well.. orhing orhing time... night

All Of You Go Away

2006-07-22T17:36:00.000+08:00

No one cares about me.. i shall abandon this world with hatred and live my life alone.

Presentation

2006-07-20T23:49:00.000+08:00

Yesterday is my presentation... they say i wear very nice... haha.. i fated to be old woman.. yesterday presentation got ppl di siao.. down... haiya now very sick dun feel like talking le.. i go slp liao night....
I am the DIRECTOR.. haha
They say i look like... my legs... im disappearing from the earth...

=D

2006-07-15T02:28:00.000+08:00

Im tired... hahaha... sianz... sickness come n go... dunno is really sick or not enough rest... hmm.. vb over le.. im happy... hahahaha... hmm... thank you snow help me change tag board... haha i like this tag board alot.. wow.. so cute... hai.. tml yoga... dunno can do anot... later nao chong xue(blood rush)... haha.. i go orh orh le... byebye

Down & Sick

2006-07-13T23:15:00.000+08:00

Hai.. yesterday was a terrible day for me.. i was having a terrible headache... wow pain until i feel like dying... maybe is vb test then i too stress... after vb i went for voice out wo go there almost end liao... saded... but ending play my favourite kevin kern songs through the arbor and sundial dreams.. felt so surpirse cuz i put that on my blog... wow dunno why kevin kern can play such nice songs... hmm... after vo i went library took a rest haiz my head like splitting apart... after that went for voice out last meetin.. by the time i went almost finish... then they went eat but i cant take it i went home w someone accompany hmm lucky got someone pei me home if not i think i will really faint halfway... i reach home no one at home mom n bro went watch pirates of carribean 2 FREE! sad i mus pay & watch le... all vb fault but lucky i din go if not i think sure flunk my vb... then i fell asleep.. oppss i blur liao the movie was not yest.. haha... then u went home yest i felt damn sick i ate 2 and half spoon of porridge 2 panadols and not more than 15 mins i vomited everything out lucky i rushed to the toilet bowl jus in time... heng... i knelt in front of the toilet bowl like one pathetic idiot and vomit like dunno wat... my stomach & eyes so painful.. got tears... haiz after vomiting i quickly went to sleep.. wow so nice so long nv slept so long liao... this morn still abit unwell after that was ok i ate a chicken burger and chocolate ice milk tea in sch haha came back i ate peanuts n chocolate pocky and some potato chips... dunno will fever anot yest was on abit of fever... now a bit 'gong gong' go do my thing then i go sleep liao... sianz.. busy week coming so many proj to rush... nex week got presentation haiz dunno wat shoe to wear got one shoe nv even wear to sch my foot got more then 5 blister... so pain wor... my mum juz came in say see doc next next next mon... down... i hate to see that doctor but no choice have to see cuz i can feel my sickness getting worse nv see if i die how... haha.... juz now open rubbish chute got one stupid 'cockroach' scare the hell out of me... i shouted and ran away.. hope its gone.. if not everynight i mus be on my guard to the kitchen... ok i go liao byebye...
*YaWnZ*
*SLEEPY*
* MSS D@DDY*

I Hate VB

2006-07-11T23:41:00.001+08:00

Do vb until i siao liao tml is my doom day i dun wan to repeat this module heard that tml paper is a killer haiz... i been doin and doin until i also dunno wat am i doing... feel so bored and sleepy so come here and take a write... haha.. today i told teacher "i also got" teacher ask me wat kind of english is that i said standard english then he said standard singlish.. -_-lll kanasai.. ha.. haiz actually can watch free movie w my mum de she got free ticket today pirrates of the dunno wat part 2 but haiz cuz of the vb i cant go.. then mus watch myself $7 i really feel so heartpain $7 you know... can save alot. down... then tml my actual event voice out start le again becuz of vb i cant go.. really very down... so suay bought the blouse jzu for ushering now hor no need wear le like waste my money like that if i know i dun buy then buy the pink de nicer... haiz.. i so suay... really suay man...

2006-07-11T23:41:00.000+08:00

ITS KILLING ME!!!!

2006-07-11T02:00:00.000+08:00

MY BACKBONE IS SO TIRED AND PAINFUL... ITS KILLING ME... I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!!!! WHY DOES IT HAPPEN ON ME.. IT SO PAINFUL WOR... I CANT EVEN BENT AND BRUSH MY TEETH.. CANT EVEN SIT STRAIGHT.. CANT EVEN BENT.. HAO TONG WOR... HAIZ

Monday Blues

2006-07-10T16:07:00.000+08:00

Is monday blues... alone at home not bad weather quite cooling... hmm... juz had my lunch instant noodles again... was not suppose to eat but no choice too lazy to go out... head abit pain.. backbone as usual pain again.. dunno why this few days my back giving problems.... thats bad maybe im gonna die soon... oh.... sad... juz now is an emo timing suddenly think of my dad usually lunch time my dad will always eat snake and come home.. he will always packet for me... i dun even need to go down then send me to grandma house... we will always share that packet of rice... but now i cant even see his shadow... sad... if he's still around now he most probably will drive me to school now i dun even have to take tt one hr train juz to take some vb coding fr my friend... vb haiz was reading the code but really hav no idea wat am i looking at... mayb i should not cope at home... well going out for a walk and go sch take vb code le... papa i miss you.. maybe goin visit him this sat but the sch is so busy.. database project no one touch it dunno how to start also due on week 15 left 1 week.. well... my god i also dunno what to say liao... haiz.. byebye feel like sleeping again... *oink.yawnZ*

Slept So Long...

2006-07-09T19:23:00.000+08:00

Yest doze off in bed.. din off my comp din brush my teeth... haha.. my hair wasn't even dry.. haha.. lucky my mum din notice the comp if not. . . today first thing i ate was the jelly abit hard abit not sweet.. my mum make the world best wife.. haha.. i shall make it myself one day... hmm.. woke up at 1.. slept again till 5.. then watch the show i recorded the channel 8 9pm de.. the police show cry like hell.. so touching... watch tt show think of my daddy.. haha.. the girl kill her foster dad where the dad kill her biological mum.. so ke lian.. that day went outrm park eat the temp chinatown market.. saw the fish head bowl i think of my daddy again when i was small he always force me wake up in the weekend bring me go eat the fish head bee hoon wow lau the bowl hor fr pri sch until i now poly yr 2 nv change at all won't spoil meh.. hai then pass by another stall saw my daddy favourite food.. so sad... haiz.. then saw one aunty wash vege put it on the floor near the drain.. my as well dun wash... so er xin.. but her business damn good.. mayb the customer like eat "added ingredients" ha... hmm come back to today... now mus rush marketing project.. if not no time study vb fail i die... haiz god pls dun make me fail... i will study hard.. tue night mum got free ticket wash priate of carribean 2 so no time study.. i dun go mama sure very sad so mus study now.. hmm... i dun hav common sense how to do marketing.. haha... today i feel so guai cuz i stay at home.. haha is becuz yest i was out whole day so not guai actually.. hee... ok i go le... VB SUX!!! ITS KILLING ME...!! Even if i passed teacher will tink i copy.. they dun believe me.. so wats the point.. life is so unfair.. i din wat even if i passed badly i still do it myself but the teacher juz look down on me.. i feel so terrible.. they nv spare a thought of students feeling.. i may be slow but that doesn't mean im stupid... I juz dun want see them again nex sem...

Woo.. So Long

2006-07-09T00:23:00.000+08:00

Wow so long din update my blog.. haha someone mus be bored always the same thing... nothing much to update oso.. for the past few weeks i watched movie campus ghost stories.. that day went to celebrate chuanlim, renli, xiaowei & may bdae... after that went watch recycle and ton for the whole night.. recycle was nice.. touching and i cried... haha... useless me... today went sentosa for the downtown escapede im the official.. haha quite fun i slept for 1 hr cuz no one came to my station.. i liked it cuz im darker for a day.. haha.. today.. haha got chase by a stupid dog.. came running over splash sand and bark at me.. scare the wits out of me... i stood there like an idiot a defenceless little girl shouting.. after that tt stupid dog came again this time round i stood there "LL" run oso cannot walk oso cannot.. stupid owner dunno how to chain a dog... then i went toilet again.. found out i got 'RED'!! so suay.. haha.. ask anthony to buy me "bread" anthony asked jiafye in the end Anders deliver my "bread" to me personally.. ooooh.. its so god damn embarrass... haha.. but the worse is anthony ---> shi ah bui.. i think haha... hmm after that went back sch.. then i went dinner w "Cool" haha.. then went home.. now juz hope that i can hop onto my bed and *sNoReZ.. TmL got jelly to eat!!! Yeah.. happy long time never eat!! haha... hmm.. stop here le.. byebye... tata.

SLEEPPPPPPY....

2006-06-29T15:17:00.000+08:00

wow so long never update blog le.. lazy lah.. anyway nothing to write also.. now learning networking... so sianz.. routers, switches, console pork.. opps is port.. not funny -.- haha.. im so fucking tired and sleepy i slept only 3 hrs for yesterday and today... dying soon... *snoring*.. i now can sleep as i walk liao..
Today VB is a sucess i got my bible liao wrote every shit thing down.. hahaha so stress do VB until i want to die.. my neck is breaking... hungry.. thirsty.. SLEEPPPPPPY....!

Memories...

2006-06-15T04:47:00.001+08:00

The prince turn into a frog is so nice... so late le i still watching so.. its early ba.. haha... i watched that drama three times and i cried three times.. the songs are nice also.. haha i dun mind watch a hundred times... watching that show bring me so much memories.. im a bad person... im so sorry...
-Somethings I Must Face It Myself.. No point running away from it... it will not only bring hurt to me but to others too-

Diary~~~

2006-06-11T15:28:00.000+08:00

Yesterday i wrote my diary and i read my past entries.. i find alot of things changes and last time im so childish haha.. i read and i laugh at myself.. ha..
how time files how things happen how things changes and how life end.. juz within a few years feelings changes life changes... memories oso changes... 5 years down the road will it still be the same?? .. i going for my camp soon le.. feel so reluctant but got no choice.. its ok... can make more friends n relax... yest went movie.. that movie eer make me feel like vomiting n cried sia... violence & gore always make me feel so sick... yest was a nice day.. if time stops and eveyone slow their pace it will be wonderful...

-I Hope Time Will Stop Yesterday-
~Today I Back To The Cruel Reality~

I Will Miss ...

Time to set off....

Promises Are Gone... Im So Sad

2006-06-10T02:39:00.003+08:00

OuR PRoMISes Are Gone.. Im so sad but i have to accept it.. i wont because of myself and bring hurt to other ppl.. i dun wan to inflict pain onto anybody...

Bu Yao Ying Wei Zhi Zi De Yi Shi Chong Dong, Er Dai Ge Ren Jia Yi Bei Zhi De Yi Han...

-Sad- bye

Promises Are Gone... Im So Sad

2006-06-10T02:39:00.002+08:00

Promises Are Gone... Im So Sad

2006-06-10T02:39:00.001+08:00

Promises Are Gone... Im So Sad

2006-06-10T02:39:00.000+08:00

Every Sunday Is A Emo Day...

2006-06-04T18:52:00.000+08:00

Now i alone at hm.. feel so lonely so emo.. I feel so stress this thing is not longer happy.. to me its only draggy, suffering, painful, unahppy, stressful.. I cant feel a single bit of happiness at all... why why tell me why why things turn out to be like this.. I tot it would be happy be nice be wonderful but why i feel so suffocating that i cant even breathe.. i feel so pressed.. i feel so tired about everything single thing that is happening around me.. im not happy anymore.. not I only feel loneliness, sadness and unhappiness... I feel so tired that I want to give up everything.. everthing.. everything including myself...

There's A Stone In My Heart That Never Be Lift.
There's A Burden In My Life That Never Leave Me.

SomeOne Please Help Me...
God Where Have You Gone To.. You Gave Me Hope But Now I Need You Again To Lead Me To The Correct Path.. Show Me Some Light...
Papa Where Are You...???

THis Week Totally Sux-->-I Juz Want To Be Alone.. Leave Me Alone!-

2006-06-04T02:34:00.001+08:00

This whole week suck like hell everything is going umsmoothly for me... haiz tue went take book n went for a movie.. not very nice though.. went home and had a big fight w my bf.. cried and cried.. buai ta han... haiz tok to someone and feel better.. fri during class heard something... which bothers me till now.. still cant get over it.. i was malign something which i din do.. i feel so sad so in others eyes im stupid and slow... but tt doesn't mean i dun wan to learn... i still tried my best... why.. why... i oso hope to be like others clever and no need ask for help but i just cant... not everything when u say u want or u can means u can... haiz.. nvm.. will try to get over soon...
today went out went bugis walk around until my legs gonna break.. bought a long sleeve shirt... now my both shoulders pain and swollen and my stomach feel so uncomfortable... eyes so dry whole body so tired and lethargic... -dying soon-

-I Juz Want To Be Alone.. Leave Me Alone!-

THis Week Totally Sux

2006-06-04T02:34:00.000+08:00

Zo Stun

2006-06-01T01:09:00.000+08:00

Today went cut hair with my darling mother... same hairstyle forever... haha.. then bought a cheap belt that the glitters will drop... no wonder so cheap.. haiz.. then went cine.. went to try a star watch damn nice.. feel like buying... hmm at the same time i took out my bracelet to try on the watch haiz... then went dinner i realise my bracelet missing... damn sad... the one and only bracelet i can fit my hand... im so sad... down...

Reach home i do stun accidentally step on my laptop wire... *phew* the 3 pin plug flew out from the swtich and smash my poor little cutie toe... oh my. . . wat the. . .

Am I acting in some final destination or something???

haiz... why sia.. all these happen to me... its like one yr i had not been in good luck.. who come save me...

God Pls...

-Poor Little Cutie Toe-

Down

2006-05-31T01:26:00.000+08:00

A bit down but life goes on.. today went printing with someone.. had a great dinner saw two fons i like haha but all function suz.. haiz.. but still i like the fon.. =)
haiz gonna slp le.. my sleeping at 12 gone again.. try again tml...

This Is The Day

2006-05-30T01:36:00.000+08:00

Today everyone was crying... as usual my bro & I did not... yesterday I already cried hard enough.. and i dun cry in front of others.. i only weep alone in a dark corner of my room... haiz.. i must act strong in front of everyone.. act happy.. but am i really that strong and happy Im acting to be??? Everyone is putting up a fake smile and strong front.. i dun deny i am too...

Today I damn tired... tired... & tired.... tired of everything.... including my life...?? Maybe... perhaps...

-Last Min I Feel Abit Upset Cuz Of Someone Oh No...!-
<--Off To Dreamland & Let My Life Come To A Pause-->

Read This

2006-05-28T18:41:00.000+08:00

It's not time to make a change
Just relax--take it easy
You're still young--that's your fault
There's so much you have to know
Find a man, settle down
If you want, you can marry
Look at me--I am old
But I'm happy

I was once like you are now
And I know that it's not easy
To become when you've found
Something going on
But take your time--think a lot
Think of everthing you've got
For you will still be here tomorrow
But your dreams may not...

How can I try to explain?
When I do--it turns away again
And it's always been the same
Same old story
From the moment I could talk
I was ordered to listen
Now there's a way, and I know
That I have to go awayI know, I have to go..

It's not time to make a change
Just sit downand take it slowly
You're still young--that's your fault
There's so much you have to go through
Find a man, settle down
If you want, you can marry
Look at me--I am old
But I'm happy

All the times, that I've cried
Keeping all the things I knew inside
And it's hard
But it's harder to ignore it

If they were right--I'd agree
But it's them--they know
Not me
That I have to go away

-Little Daughter Miss You-

This Is Nice...

2006-05-28T18:19:00.000+08:00

If only you could see the tears in the world you left behind
If only you could heal my heart just one more time
Even when I close my eyes
There's an image of your face
And once again I come I'll relise
You're a loss I can't replace

Soledad
It's a keeping for the lonely
Since the day that you were gone
Why did you leave me
SoledadIn my heart you were the only
And your memory live on
Why did you leave me
Soledad

Walking down the streets of nothingville
Where our love was young and free
Can't believe just what an empty place
It has come to be
I would give my life away
If it could only be the same
Cause I can't still the voice inside of me
That is calling out your name

Soledad
It's a keeping for the lonely
Since the day that you were gone
Why did you leave me
Soledad
In my heart you were the only
And your memory live on
Why did you leave me
Soledad

Time will never change the things you told me
After all we're meant to be love will bring us back to you and me
If only you could see

Soledad
It's a keeping for the lonely
Since the day that you were gone
Why did you leave me
Soledad
In my heart you were the only
And your memory live on
Why did you leave me
Soledad

A Little Story. . .

2006-05-28T17:51:00.000+08:00

One morning it was raining heavily.. a little girl was sleeping in her room so soundly.. suddenly a loud thunder striked.. the poor stubborn naughty little girl got so scared that she ran towards her hero and hugged him so tight.. that hero laughed at her and cuddled her tightly in his care and told her "Don't be scared... thunder strikes when little children are naughty the god is trying to scare them.." the hero carried the little girl back to her room and put her to sleep.. and the little girl slept so well.. cause she knew that the hero was beside her watching her to sleep..
Its chirstmas tomorrow.. the hero told the little girl to put her small shoes outside so that the Santa Cluas would know that theres little children in this house.. the little girl do as what she was told and the little girl placed a Red Santas Claus shoe beside her bed.. and the next morning the shoe was filled with candies and chocolate.. the little girl really believed that Santa Claus really exist.. the little girl ran to her hero and told him "You see Santa came yesterday and gave me candy" her hero replied " Ya.. that is Santa.. he only gave good children naughty chidren he won't give" the little girl was so happy.. from then onwards every year the little girl would put her shoes outside before that she would ask her hero should i put her shoes outside her hero would say yes.. one day the little gril did not put the Red Santa Shoe beside her but as usual the next morning she still find theres lot of candies and chocolate beside her.. As time goes by the little girl had already grown up she knew Santa does not exist.. but she still placed her shoe outside and the Red shoe beside her.. she knew that it was her hero who bought all the candies and chocolate one xmas the little girl woke up early that morning she forged sleeping and she saw her hero place the candies beside her.. she knew it but she carried on and believe theres a Santa. The Santa was the hero.. Now the little girl has already grown up everytime she heard thunder she got no one to cuddle her and no more candies and chocolate during Xmas cuase the hero was gone.. now the little girl must take care of herself no more protected zone.. no more hero.. the hero now has became a butterfly.. flying everywhere he like freely and sometimes he will fly into the little girl's room to see how is she espeacially when the little girl was down and sad the butterfly would always appeared.. Is that you my hero??
One day when I grow old will I forget how you look like? Forget your face? Forget everything you did??
Memories are so fade.. one day it will all fade away.. Im scared.. this day really comes...
One year passed, soon it will be two years, three years, four years, five and ten years.. then it will be the day when I get marry.. when you are not there for me.. to warn the guy who loves me to protect me and don't bully me.. and telling him that you entrust me to him.. Without you saying this.. Something just goes missing..
-Little Girl Story-

Raining Emo Day

2006-05-28T17:06:00.000+08:00

So long i nv update my blog.. anyway theres nth much for me to say.. everyday is the same stress at sch.. slack at home.. even sat i had to study for my database.. waste someone time.. so sorry.. last week sat went meet my darling nurse.. wow we went TCC had coffee & cake so nice to see her.. she is best.. although nv see for long and she eveytime say i bitch -.- sometimes i feel hurt she nv support me.. but i still glad she's der.. now tt she had change i wanted to tell her but dunno how.. humans change.. as a friend i cant do anything much.. its her life though.. then i went to watch Over the hedge w my friends wahaha so funny gonna watch again if someone treats.. ha.. no point la.. waste $$ at night went car racing w my friends.. ok la quite fun saw a bitch.. haiz say ppl bitch i oso bitch where has the right to say ppl when i myself is also one.. but i see my friend so sad.. haiz.. well.. wat can i do.. sun went out w my sec friends.. all guai guai so long nv see them le.. seeing them make me feel so nice.. although seldom meet but still they always share my tears n sorrow.. thanks Saint Sistas.. ha.. went to had a fake tatoo so exciting.. this is wat friends does.. there are somethings tt only friends can give u a feeling tt bf cant.. then one week past again.. hectic work in sch again.. then this weekend comes again went database again.. so fun.. a day with no stress at all.. if everyday is a sat it would be cool.. then today.. raining.. emo sia.. slept until 4 plus wake up call my bf.. wow biangz quarrel.. shouts.. until my throat tear.. mayb im too selfish.. he capped my fon.. haiz.. perhaps i really not a good gf.. nv think of other ppl feelings.. but im really stress.. i need some space.. i need to breathe.. *is this an excuse for myself*?? But. . . why am i not happy at all.. Papa where are you.. I miss you.. *sad. Cry* is only you were here at least i can feel that my hero is protecting me.. *Ah Ta Is Sorrry* Now i had to take care of myself & mama.. I saw the motorbike ma bought is so cute.. You always ride me around when i was young.. you told me I cant get a bf with bike cuz is dangerous must with car.. You asked me to get a rich husband i told you is about love not money.. but now i realise.. *I Miss You* Tml is One Yr... You Had Already Leave Me For One Yr.. why i still feels it is as though is yesterday.. I bought your favourite peanuts for you.. hope yoy will like it.. but its no point doing so much when someone is gone.. why din i tresure you more.. I may seems to be happy but everytime i think of you theres a stone in my hear that never be lifted.. forever never..
- HoLDNG My Dad's arm, waLkNG dOwN thE ASLe EntRuStNG Mi To tHe GuY WHo Love M.. My Dream WiLL nv Come True -
- Little Daughter Ah Ta-

Damn Sianz

2006-05-04T01:56:00.000+08:00

That day went snow city to celebrate someone bdae.. wow piangz play play until i fell down.. now my head still pain... haiz.. den yest went steambiat at bugis.. well the food sux to the core! expensive.. wth.. i rather go marina bay.. after eating i stomache and run toilet for 4 times. my god... i juz finish cisco still got one more to go.. but i buai ta han liao... low blood see the screen too long.. now feel very sick and feel like vomiting le.. sianz everytime like that.. i hate this feeling it so miserable.. when can i be a strong n healthy girl.. HAIZ.. DOWN..

Melt..

Yesterday Was Fun.. Without...Ahem!

2006-05-01T00:00:00.000+08:00

Yesterday me, joanne, anthony, alvin,kaijie and wenda we all went to marina bay and eat steamboat.. haha... quite fun though.. the music is nice too.. i fried beansprouts throughtout.. nice mah.. they said the amount i ate not even add up to 10 cents.. so bad.. i tried putting butter on the aluminium foil but kept failing in the end kaijie buai ta han he asked me sat down.. haha.. then joanne and me went toilet on the way saw jeremy while on the way back joanne and i stole some luncheone meat from other stall i was laughing all the way sia.. and she dropped some on the floor -_-lll wasted sia.. haha.. i laughed until i cried sia.. wow biangz she joker sia.. after that anthony went off due to he sick we ate for the second round.. then the rest of us went boat quay and drink with wenda friends.. the first pub we went sux.. the toilet were behind us and one guy went to wash his hand he on the tap and haha! the water splashed out like fountain.. damn funny.. after that we went to fernado.. wow biangz... so many pai kias.. saw allan, augustine they all... that big group.. we played cards drank.. then allan asked me go over and gave me a cup of martell with coke.. hehe quite nice leh.. hmmz.. but i cant hold my liqour well... before he went off allan asked me to be careful.. wow caring huh.. haha.. after that alvin sang the song love me by collin raye.. and we also got high sang the songs we heard.. haha.. then my eyes got damn dry cuz of all the smoke until tears kept flowing non stop till kaijie need went out with me.. after that we went for roti prata we went home.. we had our last picture taken.. then that stupid wenda want play game with his friends dun wan to send me home.. in the end i must go home early in the morning myself.. sob sob.. =(

Interview..

2006-04-29T01:16:00.000+08:00

Today went for the ambassoder interview.. isit spell correctly?? Watever.. the guy ask me there a eagle very hungry saw 2 rabbits on the road 1 rabbit turn left 1 turn right and wats the morale of the story.. haha.. i told him if the eagle move on maybe it can find better food.. like a tiger?? haha.. or he can drink water till its full and it shouldn't eat small animals.. rabbits so cute.. then he ask again if i was to serve a cup of water to a VIP and halfway i trip and fall.. wat will i do i told him i will pass him a handkerchief.. or lead him to the restroom.. but if he were to give a speech in fifteen mins time.. how?? I said i will ask my guy friend to lend him his pants.. wtf.. my answer all so shit.. but nvm its funny... Yeah!
today wear formal to sch.. so took some photos with my friends and my protector.. =)

I Lost My Protector Today..

2006-04-27T01:18:00.000+08:00

I Lost A PReCIoUs FriEND a PRotecToR today... i tot that this friendship will goes on forever.. but it doesn't seems to be the case.. its not easy to build up a friendship or relationship.. i tot i did it well and it will hang on.. but once again it fails.. juz like in the past.. pls dun let all the small small things affect us.. we both build it up quite well.. why give up now.. its not worth it..

You Are Not Alone.. =)
No matter wat ur decision is
Im Always Here.. =D

Tears Are Juz UseLess Droplets.. haiz.

Tears Are Juz UseLeSs dRoPLetS...

2006-04-26T01:41:00.000+08:00

Today after lesson went S11 to eat w the usual ppl.. lili, mike and zhiliang.. rayson, allan ad chuan lim... Today nothing much.. abit down.. heard something... oh no.. die... haiz... jus gave wenwen my admin card.. damn stupid should have given her in sch...

Tears Are Juz UseLeSs dRoPLetS...

A Hero To My Rescue

2006-04-25T02:27:00.000+08:00

Today I went swimming w yeeyee.. haiz thought would turn out nicely.. in the end i swim halfway one guy came to my rescue.. haha.. so pai seh.. wanted to thank him personally but din get the chance.. i landed him some scoldings from the coach.. felt so bad.. oh no.. first time go.. rain and thunder.. den people got scolding cuz of me.. wat the...
after that went eat w coldpaper they all.. gave him a lollipop.. haha.. still small.. lollipop..
well.. S11 is getting more and more boring.. any new discoveries... -_-lll

A Load Off My Mind

2006-04-24T01:59:00.000+08:00

Haiz, today sleep late again.. juz finish chatting with someone.. finally tell out something.. really let my load off.. its nice to have someone to share with.. go bath le..

Juz Woke Up

2006-04-23T13:08:00.000+08:00

I juz woke up not long ago.. what a day its raining so heavily now.. its such long time to see such a heavy downpur.. haiz.. raining day always bring me alot of emo.. should write diary today le.. still trying hard to find my kevin kern cd.. my god dunno wer all the cds gone to.. damn sad..
Drinking Down Sorrows

2006-04-23T04:29:00.000+08:00

I Cant Take It Anymore... TeaRs FLowNG... ((")(")) haiz.

So Sad Now

2006-04-23T02:58:00.000+08:00

Juz came home after going Fishy bdae think his bdae did not turn out well.. haiz.. feel so low.. dunno why.. today seems a bad day everyone seems quarreling.. why like that... where is the happiness around me.. all i can sense is sadness, unhappiness, wat else.. yest heard something bad.. i really so heartbroken.. i always say i dun give a fucking damn but actually i really care..
anyway must thank someone to help me do this blog.. i dun enthu oso.. but it seems tt nv write something let him down.. thanks protector ll.. feel so sad rumours spread and protector ll say cannot meet often le.. those few days is really nice.. but too bad.. gonna end le.. now listening to all the sad songs sad+sad=sad..

byebye..

Juz_mome

Protector

Cindy is a naughty girl...

Flared Up... Copyright

The thing that im worried about most

Sucking Life...

Back

Fall Down Day *SHIT*

Sianz

Sad

Gotta Sleep

All Of You Go Away

Presentation

=D

Down & Sick

I Hate VB

ITS KILLING ME!!!!

Monday Blues

Slept So Long...

Woo.. So Long

SLEEPPPPPPY....

Memories...

Diary~~~

Promises Are Gone... Im So Sad

Promises Are Gone... Im So Sad

Promises Are Gone... Im So Sad

Promises Are Gone... Im So Sad

Every Sunday Is A Emo Day...

THis Week Totally Sux-->-I Juz Want To Be Alone.. Leave Me Alone!-

THis Week Totally Sux

Zo Stun

Down

This Is The Day

Read This

This Is Nice...

A Little Story. . .

Raining Emo Day

Damn Sianz

Yesterday Was Fun.. Without...Ahem!

Interview..

I Lost My Protector Today..

Tears Are Juz UseLeSs dRoPLetS...

A Hero To My Rescue

A Load Off My Mind

Juz Woke Up

So Sad Now

Fall Down Day SHIT